Today was a struggle. As was the last few days. Weeks. Months. My struggles are no more or less important than anyone else’s. But they are my struggles. The problems and troubles I deal with every day.
I woke up today and just was not feeling it. I didn’t have to work or go anywhere so there was no fake persona to put on. But that was not 100% true. I had my youngest son with me. So daddy had to be strong and put on a superhero face. He thinks daddy is the strongest person in the world. Man if he only knew.
If he only knew how many flaws I have. How much I have messed up in life. How many times did I give up? And didn’t fight. That I alone ripped his family apart. How I have failed at so many things in life
If you told him that. I know he wouldn’t believe it. Because daddy is the best. Daddy is daddy. Enough said. You would not be able to sway him
That’s why today was such a tough struggle. I had to be strong. I had to be what I’m not. I had to put on the biggest facade.
We all struggle. We all deal with it differently. My greatest flaw is not talking about how I feel. My burdens should not burden anyone else. That’s how I always thought of it.
I am learning little by little to open up and be vulnerable. It doesn’t mean I’m weak. Just trusting that people will allow me to be me. And do not judge me. And not look at me any differently.
As I said. I may not be one to talk about my feelings but I will lend a quick ear to anyone. And listen with my heart and do my best to make that person feel as valuable as their feelings. That means a lot to me.
Growing Phengs 
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